What's Kyle MacLachlan doing starring in a guest arc next month on Desperate Housewives, playing a dentist who's a love interest for Susan (Teri Hatcher)? Sure, as an exposé of the dirty secrets behind suburbia's manicured lawns, Housewives owes a debt to Blue Velvet, but if you're going to hire a freaky alumnus of that movie, isn't Dennis Hopper the obvious choice?

But the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. I mean, after that traumatic swimming pool sex scene in Showgirls and his role as Charlotte's libido-free husband on Sex and the City, MacLachlan can handle whatever sexual kink or dysfunction Marc Cherry saddles him with. After riding giant sandworms in Dune, handling klutzy trainwreck Susan should be a breeze. Also, MacLachlan was once attached to the role of George Reeves in a biopic of the 1950s TV Superman, so why not pair him with the 1990s TV Lois? Finally, look at the photo in TV Guide's MacLachlan story, and you'll see that the actor is still rockin' the McVinci, so he's the ideal appetizer for Patrick Dempsey an hour later on Grey's Anatomy.