Make no mistake: This will almost certainly be the dumbest movie ever. And yet, I'll cop to a little excitement. I mean, if we're going to make a big-screen version of The Dukes of Hazzard, 

the King John of car-based '80s action television shows, why not Knight Rider -- the undisputed Hamlet of this noble subgenre? The General Lee couldn't even talk. (Actually, it probably could, but I'm guessing it sounded like Strom Thurmond.)

But, for the true fan, the making of a Knight Rider movie brings up several delicate questions: Can the show's rich mythology -- rivaling Tolkien really -- be crammed into a three-act structure? Who can match the grace and wit of Hasselhoff in the lead role? Will the stock footage of K.I.T.T. jumping over that truck be retouched?